Nothing can prepare you for the diagnosis of a serious illness – whether it’s your diagnosis or that of a loved one. We are all touched by grim prognoses at some point in our life, unfortunately. Dealing with big illnesses can challenge us physically, emotionally and spiritually.

The goal of this blog is to provide guidance to family and friends of a diagnosed loved one, and also some tips for those personally facing a difficult health crisis. 

In recent years, I’ve been involved in supporting two of the most important women in my life as they wrestle with facing medical facts and trying to live their lives without limits. Both took very different approaches but the strength and determination by both was truly humbling. 

Homeopathy to Support Big Illnesses

• Cocculus – for those exhausted by worry and lack of sleep from caring for others. 
• Sepia – for those emotionally worn out, irritable or indifferent to those around them, desire to be alone. 
• Stress Complex – supporting your body during difficult and stressful times. Contains cocculus, ginseng and kali phos which is nourishing on the nervous system. 
• Boost Complex – supporting your body to ‘bounce back’ after a period of stress or illness. 
• Insomnia Complex – contains some tissue salt remedies such as mag phos for relaxation, and kali phos for calming the nervous system, as well as chamomilla, coffea and passiflora which all can have calming effects. 

Flower Essences to Support Big Illnesses

• Bulletproof – helps with emotional and physical resilience during difficult times. 
• Rocket Fuel – what every busy person who juggles work and caring responsibilities needs! May assist in providing energy and ability to handle ‘spot fires’. 
• Sweet Dreams – rest is so, so important when dealing with big illnesses around you – not just from a physical point of view, but also a spiritual front as we all process emotions and events in your sleep. 
• Heal – deep-acting flower essence that can provide comfort to the mind when going through difficult or painful experiences. Heal can assist with acceptance, resilience and the courage to withstand. 
• Intuition – tune in to your inner wisdom and knowing for support in making decisions. 

Supporting a Loved One with a Big Illness

Witnessing a loved one endure a health crisis can be complicated as you process your own feelings about the situation while trying to support the patient.

In my experience, it’s important to acknowledge your own feelings – perhaps you don’t agree with their health choices, or you feel the suffering is difficult to bear – in your own time with your own support network. Many health organisations have social workers or counsellors available for family and friends.

Reminding yourself that the loved one will be aware, to some degree, of their friends and family’s anguish, but it is not their role to hold you up at this difficult time. Easing their burden in this way can allow them to focus on their health. 

Here are some practical support strategies.

• Be an ear to listen and shoulder to cry on. This is often all your loved one needs from you. Someone to understand the situation, hold space during the difficult times and lighten the mood whenever possible. Laughing has been proven to have many health benefits such as relieving stress, so watching a comedy movie together, reading stories and telling jokes is such a simple yet effective way of supporting those in need. In my experience, my loved ones would love to hear stories about my kids and what they’ve been up to. It helped them remain involved, relevant and I actually think it gave them stories to think about in their alone times. 
• Advocate for your loved one. If you are involved in their health journey and their medical decisions, I believe it’s important to ask questions, find out information and offer options and information to your loved one. Making a decision in dire situations must be very, very difficult as they weigh up the effects on their wellbeing, their longevity and also the impact on those around them. Providing as much appropriate information as possible, yet allowing them to be the captain of their own ship, is very important. When cognitive fatigue sets in for your loved one, it can be difficult to see the forest from the trees. Short conversations about options with accurate information can help them digest and deliberate, in order to make the right decision for them. 
• Unsolicited advice. Some people with big illnesses can be scared to make decisions and are unsure of what direction to take. And while they may ask your opinion and advice on important matters, I feel it is best to only provide your opinion when asked. You can be certain they are receiving unsolicited opinions and advice from many other people around them – ease the burden and be the one that is a safe space for them to discuss all options available to them. 
• Changes in relationships. Being a spouse or a child and overtime becoming more of a carer can have huge implications on the relationship for both parties. I don’t have many words of advice here, but it’s about balance. When you notice the dynamics are as they should be (spouse-spouse, parent-child) then cherish it! Soak it up, hold that very precious space, create the memories! Honestly, these will be what gets you through the hard days. And if the relationship turns to more of a patient-carer dynamics, I believe the loved one can struggle with this shift and will certainly have feelings of guilt, shame and being a burden so providing lots of reassurance while getting the time out and support you need to help you both.
• Take photos. Take photos as much as possible. Even if your loved one is changing physically, don’t let that be a reason not to see their beauty and love and document it. You might not be able to look at the photos until some time in the future, but you will one day. 
• Support organisations. Carer’s Gateway, The Cancer Council, social workers and counsellors at most hospitals/palliative care units, NDIS and My Aged Care providers usually have support workers on board. 
• Meditation. This helps with managing stress, processing difficult emotions, positive visualisations, etc
• Life balance. Sometimes juggling a job, a family and caring responsibilities means no time for yourself. Actually, this is the most important part of being able to support your loved ones. Without quality down time and time to enjoy yourself, burn out is highly likely as well as negative emotions such as resentment.  

For more information on holistic caring support, check out our blog about carer’s and care giver’s here. I hope these ideas for dealing with big illnesses has been useful to you and can provide some comfort in the process.

May Special Offers

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Offers end 31st May 2025 and are not valid with other offers.